Days 9, 10, 11, 12 & 13

Yesterday I really felt like having a glass of wine. It was really the first time since I started the Dry January I genuinely felt I don't want to resist wine anymore. Afterall, it had already been 12 days with no alcohol whatsoever, and to have 1 glass of wine didn't seem such a big deal. I won't lie, it really took immense willpower to not succumb and to grab a non-alcoholic beer from the fridge instead. 

Maybe it's something to do with the boredom that is kicking in with the lockdown situation. I've kept myself busy every single day in the beginning of the year. I've gone for my runs, I've done a jigsaw puzzle, I've cleaned the house inside and out, I've planted tulips, I've gone for long walks, I've read 2 books but now for the past couple of days I've started to completely run out of stuff to do. 

As I'm nearly half way through this challenge I need to look back to day 1 and remind myself of all the good reasons why I'm doing it and why not give up now. 

So, this is what I wrote down on one of my previous blog posts and let's see how the progress has been so far and if this Dry January really has helped anything. 

- Allows liver to recover, reduces risk of cancer and risk of cardiovascular disease - I suppose this is way too early to evaluate, but as I've been looking back to my relationship with drinking and understood that I haven't always been super responsible with my drinking habits, it's made me realise that overconsumption of alcohol is a fast track to self-destruction on so many levels. 

- Makes the skin look healthier and younger - I have certainly seen great improvements with my skin but I don't know if I can attribute it to the no-alcohol rule. I've started to take vitamins and I haven't worn make up for two weeks, and I've definitely pumped up my morning and night-time moisturising routine. 

- Improves mood, reduces mood swings - This is absolutely true. I don't feel nearly as anxious and depressed as I did before and I feel I'm going through the entire day with quite a stable and even positive mindset, even though my general life situation is still the same. 

- Boosts brain power - how am I supposed to check that? :D 

- Helps to lose weight - I have not lost any weight at all which is a huge disappointment, especially as I've also run so much. The reason is, I'm relentlessly replacing alcohol with chocolate and food. Just yesterday, to scratch the itch of not having that glass of wine, I made myself a huge cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream. There was at least 4 teaspoons of sugar in that. Later, I had a non-alcoholic beer, which surely is packed with calories and 0 fun. 

- Saves money - I suppose it would in the long run, and I'm pleased to see my wine racks and wine fridge still full, meaning I have something for the rest of the year. Carla was quick to point out though, that I'm buying so many books that if every book costs the same as bottle of wine, I'm not really saving anything (at an afterthought, probably reading that book is the thing that 'boosts my brain power' but a bottle of wine certainly wouldn't) 

- Improves quality of sleep - Unfortunately this has not happened. I'm not sleeping well at all, primarily because I cannot fall asleep in the evening and stay awake until late. At the same time, there is nothing in the morning that can wake me up at a reasonable morning hour and I end up getting out of bed/pyjamas around midday every day. 

The late waking time is also a reason I feel the days are so short. It gets dark around 5pm, and it's super cold and rainy outside. Every day feels like a perpetual darkness and with the lockdown I feel like a polar bear in hibernation. 

I hope this hibernation will help me through another 2 and half weeks without any alcohol. I know that an occasional glass of wine here and there would not turn me into an alcoholic but the whole Dry January for me is more about testing my willpower and my resistance to temptation.