Days 6, 7 & 8
I've realised that for the past 3 days I've thought of having a drink much less than I expected. The Dry January promise even seems to be getting easier, rather than harder.
There was only one time when I genuinely felt like I'd like to have a glass of wine, which was after I'd just cleaned all the house. There's something very comforting in rewarding yourself with a nice glass of wine after hours of decluttering, dusting, hoovering, sanitising and mopping. I pictured myself sitting in my perfectly clean living room with that delicious glass of wine, being proud of myself.
Yet, just moments later I realised that I can still sit in my perfectly clean living room feeling proud of myself even without the wine.
That has just made me realise how often I've turned to Wine for a reward or, equally, for compassion.
When there's something big to celebrate at work, we always open a bottle in the office. Similarly, whenever I've had a stressful day at work (which was most of the time, before lockdown), I get home, and even before I've washed my hands I've already poured myself a large glass of white.
As I've said before, I associate wine not only with being out with friends and colleagues, but also with most of the things I'm doing at home. I've associated it with cleaning the house, taking care of my plants on the terrace, doing a jigsaw puzzle all night long; with cooking, eating, reading a book, watching a movie, taking a bath... I never thought that was a problem, as I've never drunk a whole bottle by myself in a day (which for me would really raise some red flags), but that little glass of wine has always been on back of my mind like some kind of encouraging ally getting me through the day. Most of the time I've even thought that having a bit of wine here and there is actually healthy, which is probably true to some extent, so I've never questioned my wine drinking habits at all.
Now that I've gone through an entire week with doing all those things at home but with no wine at all, I realise that I don't necessarily have to associate wine with my daily chores at all.
Instead, I've found energy to go for long runs in every few days. I've taken up vitamins and herbal teas, and I'm spending time consciously looking after my mind and body.
Yet I know there is still a long way to go but for the first time I'm starting to think that maybe I CAN make it until end of the month.
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